Belly Mold!

Even though class was canceled today, I spent much of my day engaged in process. This time I had some help from my wonderful husband, Ryan.

I had been doing some reflecting on the processes I had been engaged in. Thinking about the concept of skin, touch and the important role that touch plays in the life of people. I had a recent devotion talking about Jesus touching the lepers and how this was enormously profound because the people he touched often had not had human contact like that in years!!!! Can you imagine not being touched, even a pat on the shoulder for even one week, let alone years!? Anyway, I also was thinking about wanting to document this time in my life. After all, I'll never be able to come back to the time when I was 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby ever again. So... I went and bought plaster strips and Ryan and I made a mold of my torso.

I want to share that this is a long process that involves various steps to be carefully completed to get a good end result. But this process was INCREDIBLE to experience. There was a definite feeling of vulnerability as I lay on the floor still as I could while Ryan applied the strips. And, there was a deep level of trust and intimacy there too. With the plaster strips you have to carefully address the crevices of a person's skin or lose the honest silhouette. The strips are dipped in warm water, laid down, and smoothed out. The warmth of the water felt wonderful and I felt cared for and attended to as Ryan took time to decide where and how to place each piece, gently smoothing the strips. I realized there would have been no one else I could have possibly done this with. I also thought about clients I have had in the past and how because of the ways that they have been touched wrongly when in that kind of vulnerable state with those they should have been able to trust that they have been robbed of the opportunity to know what it feels like to be cared for in such a way. The vulnerability would be too dangerous, in some of their minds would pose a literal threat to their survival.

As I tried to lay as still as possible, I was also aware of the baby's movement inside of me. I could feel him move, but couldn't see the ripples that I normally see in my skin because of the hardening plaster. I almost felt panicked... thinking get this thing off of me, I don't want another barrier between me and him. I gained an awareness that though there is skin between myself and him, that there is still a deeper connection in being able to see my belly move as a result of him twisting and turning. The plaster ended up showing me that I can touch him in some way, but also emphasized the barrier that I feel too.

There is so much more that was a part of this experience. I don't feel I have the room or the words to fully explain what it was like. Ryan and I plan to do a small series of the castings in the time I have left being pregnant so I'll try to add more to the descriptions then. But here's some pictures of the piece with 3 layers of acrylic and gesso, which I applied in the studio later in the day.