Yesterday was the first day of having studio time in Creative Process. In beginning my artwork, I wanted to hold onto the idea of spontaneous creation to bring about those things held inside of me that need to be given a place in space.
I was drawn to papers that were different from one another... different in texture, in weight, in size, and in the definition of their edges. I glued the pieces together to form a larger surface on which to start. I became interested in the rough edges of the watercolor paper and wanted to emphasize the edge where the watercolor paper met the drawing paper.
After this, I had a simple line image come to mind which suggested the silhouette of a woman and a womb. I began thinking of the images I had seen of what the inside of the womb looks like and continued to work with tissue paper, glue and watercolor to demonstrates some of those things. I loved being able to touch the tissue paper and create the texture as it met the paper.
As I continued to work, I noticed that the surface of the image was changing. The water was causing the paper to warp from something flat into something bumpy and harder to work with. It was frustrating, but still OK.
I continued to work on the image today (picture to come later due to my camera battery charger being MIA), and reflected on what I had been thinking about and feeling recently related to my pregnancy. There is this concept from other people that when they touch your pregnant belly that they are touching the baby growing inside of you. It is their way of connecting to this wonder of life that exists outside of what they can see truly see or experience. What is missed so often is that when a hand (or any other body part for that matter) comes in contact with a child in that way, one is really touching the mother!!! The warmth of the hand, whether it is soft or rough, firm, or gentle is felt by the mother. This touch to her abdomen, is an intimate exchange between the woman and the person who is touching her body.
In my experience so far, some people want to reach out and touch me to try and feel the baby kick or move, while others are afraid to. Then, there are times when people touch other parts of me, but avoid touching my pregnant belly, even seem to jump back from it if they accidently make contact. It is these times when I want to scream.... this is me!!!! This is my skin, my body, and yes there is a baby growing inside of me, but that's on the inside, and the outside is still me! And the person you're jumping back from touching is me! Lately I feel this odd paradox between being captivated, amazed, and thankful for the deep connection I have both emotionally and physically to my baby, and also having a longing for separation and the acknowledgement that this child and I are two separate beings. Almost a longing to be just me again but still treasuring the time I have where he is so much a part of me.
The metaphoric things that come about in the image I have began blow me away because they reflect the holding of this paradox. The two different pieces of paper glued together, yet the paint that emphasizes that they are separate. And also some of the natural parts of pregnancy demonstrated in what happened to the paper. Your body changes as a result of this added being and transforms into a bumpier, harder to get around in you. So curious as to whether or not this is something other pregnant women have felt, and if they did art, if that was reflected too!?
Christin the blog looks great, very professional. I am interested in your line of inquiry and I am excited to be in class with you as this process unfolds, and literally as you become a mother. This time to create and reflect feels like a burst of fresh air to me.
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